Rethinking our relationship with alcohol

Addiction 101 Project Lead and recovery advocate Lotta Dann provides some advice on how to think about whether your drinking might be becoming a problem, and offers tips for anyone wanting to avoid ending the year with a succession of hangover and guilt-filled mornings.

The end of the year is fast approaching, and with it comes many social events and pressures. Chief among them is the pressure to drink, given alcohol is often embedded into most gatherings and celebrations. This multitude of drinking occasions can be tricky to navigate if you’re someone who doesn’t drink or is trying to cut back. They can also increase discomfort if you’re in an active dialogue with yourself, worried about your relationship with alcohol.

We live in a society that is saturated with alcohol. It is widely available, cheap to purchase and heavily marketed as being a good fun thing. This is despite the fact that alcohol is a toxic, addictive drug that causes over $9 billion in harm annually in the form of family, domestic and sexual violence, motor vehicle deaths and injuries, financial, food and housing insecurity, lost productivity, justice system impacts, and increased demand on social services (Ministry of Health).

Alongside the immense harm alcohol causes in society, the problem with our alcohol-saturated environment is that it isolates people who are struggling, forcing them to hide and hesitate to admit a problem or reach out for help.

While we have moved some way towards normalising honest kōrero in recent years, with the growth of the ‘sober curious’ movement and more people sharing their challenges publicly, there are still many thousands of people who are privately struggling with their intake, worried that they might have a problem but not knowing what to do about it.

Here are some questions to ask yourself if there’s a little voice inside your head worried about your drinking.

• How often do you have six or more standard drinks on one occasion? (check your pours, one standard glass of wine is 100mls) 

• As a result of your drinking, did anything happen in the last year that you wish didn’t happen? 

• Have you started lying to yourself or others about how many drinks you’ve been having? 

• Are you trying to set yourself limits but keep breaking them (e.g. “I’m only going to have one glass tonight. Whoops, I had four.”) 

• Do you hanker for 5 o’clock to roll around so you can start drinking? Maybe 4 o’clock is ok on the weekends? 

• Are you rationalising with yourself, comparing yourself to others who appear worse off (e.g. “I’m not as bad as Joe – he drinks to black out most nights.”) 

• Are you thinking about drinking a lot of the time? Beating yourself up, making excuses, feeling guilty, worrying? 

If the answers to any of these questions are making you realise there may be some worth in re-examining your relationship with alcohol, there are a lot of great tips on how to start at Living Sober. Living Sober is a free community you can join anonymously to discuss where you are at with people who understand.

If you are shuddering at the thought of all the boozy events coming up and want to avoid over-indulging, here are some tips to help get you through.

• You don’t have to go. Maybe you should go, but you don’t have to go. Your wellbeing comes first.  

• You can leave early. Slip out unnoticed or say a quick goodbye. If you need to explain, claiming a headache or a call booked with a friend will suffice. 

• Focus on the positive elements. What makes this event special? Celebrating with colleagues? Marking the year-end? Seeing old friends? Don’t give the liquid in your glass all the power to make something enjoyable. 

• Plan your drinks. Make sure there are delicious non-alcoholic drinks available or take your own. If at a bar, be clear about what vessel you want your drink served in. You don’t have to use the straw just because they give it to you. 

• Visualise the end of the night. Know that if you’re trying not to drink or to cut down, you’ll be so proud of yourself when you get home without being intoxicated, and wake up with a lovely clear head.

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