Manaaki and whanaungatanga through the holiday season
Published:
December 8, 2025
Article type:
Caring for ourselves, our whānau, and our communities with kindness.
The Christmas and New Year period can bring joy, sunshine, kai, and special times with whānau. But for some, it can also be stressful or lonely, especially if you’re dealing with financial pressure, grief, or difficult dynamics. Here are some ideas to help you through the holiday season.
In Aotearoa, values like manaakitanga (care and hospitality), whanaungatanga (connection and relationships), and kotahitanga (unity) remind us that looking after ourselves also means taking care of each other.
At Blueprint for Learning, we use Te Whare Tapa Whā framework created by Sir Mason Durie, to teach us that wellbeing is like a house – strong when all its sides are supported. Using this holistic model, here are ways to check in on different parts of our hauora (health and wellbeing) and our whānau, as we head into this busy season.
Taha Whānau – Social Wellbeing
Staying connected, supporting others, and reducing isolation.
For some people, the holidays are full of family gatherings. For others, it can feel very quiet, lonely and isolating.
Ways to support taha whānau
- Invite a neighbour or friend over for a cuppa, a barbecue, or a walk.
- Go along to a local community event, marae celebration, or a church lunch – invite a neighbour to join you.
- Give yourself permission to politely decline invitations or events.
- Join a summer activity or interest group.
- Call or message someone you’ve been thinking about
- Keep an eye on people who may be doing it tough or spending the holidays alone.
Connection doesn’t have to be a big gathering. Sometimes a text message or call is enough.
Taha Wairua – Spiritual Wellbeing
Finding meaning, grounding, and moments of stillness.
- Take a few moments each day to breathe, pray, meditate, and reflect.
- Head outdoors and notice the sounds, smells, and sensations around you.
- Visit a place that grounds you – your maunga, awa, beach or favourite walking spot.
- Reconnect with your whenua or special places for your whānau.
- Do something that lifts your spirit, like volunteering or giving back.
Recognising that there is something ‘bigger than us’ can help bring joy and contentment.
Taha Tinana – Physical Wellbeing
Keeping your body supported during a busy season.
December and January can throw routines out – late nights, summer events, lots of food, and plenty of juggling tasks.
Support your taha tinana by:
- Staying hydrated and eating mostly unprocessed foods that help you feel well.
- Get moving – walking, swimming, sports like tennis, touch or bowls, and gardening are all great summer activities to lift your heart rate and your spirit.
- Resting when your body needs it. Sleep is so important, especially at this time of the year.
- Pace yourself – take breaks between activities instead of rushing from one thing to the next.
A well-supported body keeps the mind and emotions balanced too.
Taha Hinengaro – Mental and Emotional Wellbeing
Managing expectations, pressure, and the emotional load.
The holidays can create a lot of internal pressure – advertising and social media promote lifestyles that are often unrealistic or unattainable.
Support your taha hinengaro by:
Taking quiet moments to read, journal, sit outside in the shade (remember the sunblock), or listen to music to help you unwind and switch off.
Using mindfulness or wellbeing apps that help you stay grounded and relaxed.
Talking with someone you trust if things feel heavy. Recognise your signs of stress and reach out early if you need support.
Keeping some routines in place when you can – meals, sleep, and physical activity.
Remember – your wellbeing matters just as much as everyone else’s.
Looking out for others
Sometimes the people who seem fine are the ones who need the most support.
While it’s important to look after yourself and your whānau, it’s equally important to look out for those around you. The holiday season can be especially isolating for people living alone, older neighbours, migrant communities and those living far from family. It can also be a tough time for people experiencing domestic or family violence, whānau under financial stress, or those coping with grief or loss.
Simple acts of kindness can mean a lot.
Check in with your neighbour or friend, especially if you feel they might be withdrawing or you can sense they are struggling. Suggest a walk, a coffee, or a shared meal. By offering your company, and a listening ear, you may be the difference in their day that gets them through the holiday season.
You never know who might need that moment of connection, and sometimes, it’s not what we bring, but the fact that we showed up.
Where to get help
If you or someone you know is having a hard time this holiday season, please know that you are not alone. There are many organisations, websites and other free resources in Aotearoa New Zealand that can support people and their whānau and friends. The following lists provide a good starting point. If you’d like to speak to someone, free call or text 1737 any time, 24 hours a day.
Learn more with MH101®
Blueprint for Learning’s MH101® workshop is focused on mental health, including how to recognise when someone is experiencing mental health challenges and how to support them while maintaining your own wellbeing.
